Surviving
I am starting this substack to try to find my way through dark times and hopefully offer some light to others along the way. I hope for it to be a space of connection.
When I experienced a debilitating depression 17 years ago I wrote my way out of it. Creativity saved me. I find myself teetering on the edge of another fall. This time it is even scarier as its origins are beyond my control.
On October 7th my life changed forever. I am not alone in this, it has become a common ground I now share with many other Jews. The downward spiral started within short days when the people I thought were my allies made it clear that they were not. They showed no concern for the hatred against Jews and Israel that arose before the Israeli government had even begun to decide on a response.
In coming posts I hope to explore my feelings during that difficult time and in the even harder time since; seek to reconcile, patiently, my fear and third generation trauma with my deepest values; and, find paths to comfort and connection amidst increasing chaos.
While I cannot write honestly without mention of “politics,” I intend to cultivate a space that does not contribute to hate and welcomes readers who have empathy for my concerns. I am not looking for conflict, I seek thoughtfulness and sensitivity. I hope to resonate outside the extreme echo chambers in a place where I am safe to be Jewish, love the state of Israel and care about the Palestinian people in the vein that I have cared so deeply for so many years for others who are suffering. I state this at the outset so I do not feel obliged to repeat it with each post.
I hope to post at least once a week.
Thank you for joining me here.